Posts Tagged ‘advice’

Some advice I frequently dish out to others is, ‘You can’t help others until you help yourself.‘  I also enjoy saying, ‘Even great things are best in moderation.’

I realized recently (like uh, today) that I need to stop being such a hypocrite and start taking my own advice once in awhile. I preach to others when they’re having a bad day that happiness is a choice, and you cannot depend on any other person (partner, children, best friend, whoever) for your happiness or well being. It’s just not their job, it’s yours!

…I sure as hell ain’t practicing my preaching…

What stinks about this philosophy on happiness is that it forces you (and right now, me) to acknowledge that in fact you are the only one to blame, and not all of the things/people/situations you’ve been complaining about.

Things turn out best for those who make the best of how things turn out.

Here’s how things have turned out for me over the past year and a half-ish: being pregnant at a “young” age (21), I went from a plethora of friends & acquaintances to choose from to ZERO (besides my boyfriend who was very, very supportive). Turns out they were a bunch of shallow people who dropped me like a hot potato because they had better things to do than stay friends with some boring mom. Even my best and closest friends got “busy” and stopped answering their phones. Hurtful, but I was convinced I would acquire a new circle soon enough. I still hadn’t accomplished this (or even one new friend) at the time when we decided to move our new family and 4 month old baby girl out of the city of Chicago, and into a house in a near-ish-by suburb. I’m now a happy stay at home mom (besides designing & writing all of the marketing materials for our company), but I’ve been here for over 8 months now and STILL my closest friend (who I am eternally grateful for, by the way) lives 6 hours away in Missouri where I grew up.

My current socialization and interaction with the world in and outside the walls of my home consists of:

  • reading Twitter, Facebook and the news
  • talking to my far-away family members & ONE friend over the phone
  • one-sided conversations with my 13 month old daughter
  • talking to my boyfriend
  • and myself – sometimes – (I hear it’s healthy!).

As a result, my happiness meter has been dragging on the lower half, and making me sensitive, irritable and sometimes angry (for no apparent reason!)… and worst of all jealous of my partner who has a job, friends, and a life outside our home to keep busy with. He has the majority use of our shared car, and can just leave when he needs/wants to – no logistical issues or restraints.

Things have turned out this way for me for better or for worse, and starting today I need to begin making the best of it. Instead of being jealous, I need to choose to find my own happiness.

Here’s the thing: I really do love being at home with my family! Very, very much! My daughter’s antics can manage to make me smile even in the most dire situations, and a supportive hug from my love can melt away the most stressful days. They are both really, really awesome to have around.

The problem goes back to one of my favorite euphemisms, even good things are best in moderation. So, I need to:

  • find a way to give myself some breaks, or just get away every once in awhile.
  • Have some pieces of life that are all my own.
  • resolve to be pro-active about finding some friends and mom-support (they aren’t going to come knocking on my door).
  • start taking better care of myself (particularly my emotional needs) so I can take care of my family!

Although I’m not sure where to start on it all, I think a good place to begin is with some resolutions that are all about ME. I resolve to use my blog as my outlet and write at least once per week (although I’d like to really double that)! I get so distracted with what turns out to be nothing, and neglect the one thing that always centers and organizes my thoughts: WRITING! 

I don’t care if I only have 3 people who ever read my blog, this is for me and about me, and I think it’s good for me. So if you’re one of my tiny handful of readers, stay tuned because there’s lots more to come!


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